So this is something that is clearly bothering Dom but not something that's ever been a problem in swedenland. (Although I will mention a leetle story about that later.) The politics and subleties of a local pub. A gang you know and the beer you buy.
The Drewe Arms then. Lovely old pub which i've been going to regularly for what, almost twenty years? Obviously John and now Dom have even closer connections. For Dom, and others in the village, the Round has become a bit of a millstone. I think both financially and socially. So here's the thing, you fancy a pint or two. You go up to the pub and there's a gang of people you know. Seven or eight say. That's a good thing, that's what you're after. Now Dom feels pressured to offer drinks to all and sundry as soon as pops his head around the door. As that is what the majority do. This is, however, both financially painful and potentially time consuming. As in, you stay until the Round is paid back. Thus the urge to go up for a couple and a chat diminishes. Solution. Just go in and say I'm not buying a round tonight. i'm just having a cheeky couple. I like your company, but I'm fed up with the crippling pyschological pressure of the Round. It is, after all, a public house. So the public ( you and the others there) decide the rules. Bring your Rules of the Round pamphlet with you. Or, even better, buy our handy RoR beermat to leave surreptiously behind. Rule One: I dont have to buy a Round Rule Two: I don't have to be part of a Round Rule Three : I can accept a drink off somebody. Rule Four: I can buy a drink for somebody. Rule Five: If I accept a drink off somebody I may not pay it back that same night. But I will pay it back. Rule Six: If I buy a drink for somebody I can't expect that drink to be returned. That last rule works well i think. As you will quickly stop offering if the offer is never reciprocated. To be Continued. I can still remember the existential pain on the face of a swede who i offered to buy a drink for in the very early days in the Pickwick. Probably December 2000 or early 2001. I noticed this guy (Some Lecturer Guy) in our circle had nursed his drink for a long time and it was now empty. I was on my way up. Me: Can i get you something SLG: Oh no thanks its fine (he wants one really) Me: Are you sure its no problem SLG: No really I'm about to go (he reaches for his empty glass) Me:Oh, go on, wharever you like SLG: Well (this painful for him, the facial expression is discomfort) ok, maybe one more. Me: Great, what can i get you? SLG: I could have an orange juice. Me: (feeling slighly deflated in my generosity) Sure! Absolutely! An orange juice was duly bought. He never bought me a return. Swedes basically don't do rounds. I quickly stopped asking. It works ok one on one though.
Dom
23/7/2018 10:21:18 pm
Your susceptibility to this round problem is dependent on many factors, and plenty of people may never experience it, so I can only speak for my own situation. Basically I have little spare cash to devote towards consuming beer in a pub, however I love my beer, and so I want to consume for myself as much as possible of the money that I hand over at the bar. Thus it causes me very real pain indeed to spend hard earned cash on a round that I know may well not be reciprocated, particularly when some in that round may not be people that I particularly even like. Yet I am also someone who cringes at the prospect of tackling the potential social awkwardness caused by manouvering myself out of having to offer the assembled company a drink as I head to the bar, to the extent in fact that I sometimes over compensate and find myself offering a drink to people who aren't even necessarily in the round! The last two times I have been at The Drewe I have found myself in a round scenario and each time after getting home I calculated that I spent about £15 more than I consumed . Now of course someone who isn't me could simply take the guidance of Virgil"s Rules Of The Round and prevent it from ever happening again, however I am me, warts and all, and whilst my fear of causing offence effectively creates this whole problem ,it nonetheless serves me well I think in other areas of life . My chosen option therefore is to generally absent myself from village pub nights, and restrict my social drinking to when I'm within the circle of trust of close mates, who you know have got your back. It's worth adding that if I ever find myself a girlfriend then this whole issue will evapourate into thin air, as it would infinitely easier to exclude yourself from a group round when you can have your own couply one going instead. For the glaringly single bloke however there is no such hiding in plain sight!
me
24/7/2018 01:33:55 pm
I just cant help thinking that the short term pain (social awkwardness)an announcement of round ending takes is worth the endless anguish of missing out on the obvious qualities of your local. Comments are closed.
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AuthorEveryday life in Southern Sweden. Categories |